How to Create Rapport

Create rapport by observing

Most people will tell you a great deal simply by their body language. Through their body language they give away a wealth of information without saying a word. This information is key to help create rapport with them.

Think about how your body responds to angry and rude people, or happy and polite people. Think about how your body language changes toward people who encourage and flatter you. How do you stand, what is the position of your head or your hands, what about your facial expressions? It’s very hard to fake body language as they are subconscious reactions.

So, next time you are in the company of some people, pay attention to what they do with their hands, where they look, or how they hold their body, you will soon learn what body language fits with what situation. These subconscious cues will help you understand how the person represents the world internally so you are able to create rapport more easily.

By listening carefully to the person, you will be able to determine what NLPtype” they are, and then match their language establishing rapport.

In NLP there are three “types” of people, Visual, Auditory and Kinesthetic. When you are able to determine the persons preferred communication “type”, you will be able to deliberately create rapport with them.

Visual people will say things like, “I can see how that would work” or “I am getting a clearer picture now”.

A person who is auditory may say something like, “I understand you loud and clear” or “Now that you’ve voiced your opinion, may I tell you what would resonate with me?”

A kinesthetic person may say something like, “That feels great to me” or I am grasping what you are saying to me”.

Please note, these are preferred modes of communication, they are not necessarily exclusive. Interestingly kinesthetic people make up around 40% of the preferred communication method, while visuals are about 35% and auditory 25%.

In summary: Being aware of the words people use will reveal a great deal about how they sense/experience the world around them, giving you the perfect opportunity to create rapport and finally connect with them on their home ground.

Mark Csabai

Mark Csabai is an NLP Life Coach in Bloemfontein, South Africa. He works with clients in and around the Free State to help them achieve more, manage stress, build self-worth, increase confidence, overcome fears and help maintain a better life-balance.